Time Well Spent

Do you feel like you are doing everything you can for your career and just feeling stuck?

Are you looking at your vision and saying,
Can I just BE there already?

It can be so frustrating when you WANT something so badly, and feel like it’s so far away.

Looking at the clock, I imagine you may want to just speed up time so  you don’t have to go through all the struggle and HUSTLE to be Full Time.

There has to be an easier way, right?

I feel you.  So many times I would leave another busted callback, and just feel defeated and so frustrated.  I knew I was doing everything I could, and yet, it was just taking WAY longer than I wanted and felt hard.

I longed for ease with my art.
And most of all, I longed for progress.

Can you relate?
How are you feeling about time right now?

This weekend I am celebrating my one year wedding anniversary.

I have a smile a mile wide as I am typing this, and my heart feels like it’s beating out of my chest with love.  I have truly found the most incredible man, and I am the happiest I have ever been being married to him.  He has taught me love at a level I always wanted.

Standing in front of my family, friends, and spiritual community was a huge moment for me.

One I waited a long time for.

I remember going on my first date of my life at 38, and feeling so awkward.  The guy was very nice, and for a moment I thought,
Could it be that easy?

And then he ghosted me, and I realized I had a LOT more to learn not only about dating, but about myself.

I was super clear I was not going to turn around and just marry version #2 of my ex.  This was about calling in an entirely different man, and that meant I needed to understand what that was and my part in it.

And of course, I originally thought this process wouldn’t take that long!
I thought that just because I wanted it so badly, meant it would come quickly.

Hard work = success!
Does this sound familiar?

I mean, I’m very disciplined, and very motivated, and yet…..I had SO much to learn. I had never dated before in my life and had met my ex at 18 and gotten married at 22.

I was not very experienced.
What I did know what working hard, but I didn’t know men and dating.

My first love coach said something that was really helpful, which was to start cultivating what it would feel like to receive my man.

And I realized for me, that would mean I would feel relaxed.

My go-to in the past had been to over-give, try to control, and have TONS of energy going out to the relationship.  This left me absolutely exhausted, but since it was all I knew, I thought this was just what a successful marriage was.

Until it fell apart, and I actually started to ask some deeper questions around relationship and around what love is.

And I started to cultivate relaxation in my body.  This was a game changer because when I would go on dates, if I didn’t feel relaxed, I knew I was falling into old patterns.

Patterns that exhausted me. And to be honest, the guys ended up ghosting, or being weird, or not wanting to commit.

They were not available, and I was overcompensating for that.

I was learning.
I was gaining experience.

And time ticked on.  I would go through phases of absolute panic as I entered my 40’s and watched each birthday go by.

But I stayed in it.
I remembered WHY I was doing this.
WHY I was going on all these dates.

And trust me, I wasn’t doing this alone.  I was asking for help from coaches and teachers the whole time, because I had no idea what I was doing.

This was new!
I had never found a conscious high level man before and married him!

And then, one May day, I went on my last first date with Chuck Rogers.  By this time, after four and a half years of practice and learning, something radical happened.

I was relaxed.

For the first time ever.

I was different.
He was different, and we had both waited a LONG time to experience and find each other.

Thank goodness, because I realized in that moment, the time had been well spent.

We can easily get caught up in thinking our careers are a failure because we aren’t where we want to be.

But, what if you’re exactly where you need to be?
What if there is a more powerful question to be asking right now?

Relying on hard work will only get you so far, and in most cases can create a perfectionist mentality which just keeps you stuck.

But, what if this is a time of learning for you?

Stepping into a student mind opens you.
It allows for growth and possibility, instead of just believing if you don’t know you are stupid, or failing.

Feel the difference in your body.
One is expansive and the other is very constricting.

Growth happens in the energy of expansion.

In a world where there is so much going on, we can often get to the end of a day and feel like we have NO time or perhaps time is using us.

What if you could use time well?
What if this time is here FOR you?
To point you towards what needs help?

Trust me, I wanted to meet my man SO much earlier than I did, and yet all the exploration and learning I did leading up to meeting him was what allowed it to go so smoothly.  We were magnets for each other at that point because we were both so clear and open.

Your career, your success, and your dreams are no different.

Your vision matters, and it takes many elements to go Full Time in today’s world.  It’s not a quick fix. It’s not about a perfect FB ad or having one hit song. 

Full Time is a full picture of stepping into your best self, and if you are not where you want to be, instead of beating yourself up, come into curiosity.

Ask for help.
We get there together.

You’ve never been Full Time and successful.  Much like me, you don’t have the experience of what that is, because it’s NEW.

So, come into the student mind, find coaches who get you and who can help, and create a team that nurtures and promotes your work.

Learning is power.
And you have so much inside to unlock.

Use your time well.

Photography: DAG Photography

Summer Possibility

Do you feel like you are working so hard and not getting where you want?
Does it feel like you are hitting the wall and not seeing the results you had hoped for?

Here we are at the halfway point of the year, and it’s a really good time to just check in and ask,
How is it going?

Sometimes, however, the answer we see can be pretty tricky to process.

You may feel disappointed.
You may be thinking,
I should be farther along than this by now.

The day to day grind can really take us out and while we started the year with so much enthusiasm, the summer can typically be a place where everything slows down.  And for many, I imagine that can be scary, especially when it comes to your livelihood and your dreams.

So, what actually helps in the summer heat?
What helps when we see where we are and just feel disappointed?

Well, as James Taylor famously sang,
You’ve got a friend…..

This past week I went to see my acupuncturist for the first time in almost two years, the luminous Sabbath McLean.

This is the woman who saw me through my divorce, back injury, car accidents, and really me creating a whole new life.

I’ll never forget the first time I went to see her.  I was overcome with grief as my divorce was happening, and I sat in front of her and she looked at me with the widest eyes of compassion.

I felt so SEEN, so safe.  She held the space as I wept, and I knew after the first session I would be back again…and again….and again.

What I could have never imagined was how a deeper connection was formed.  When I started dating for the first time in my life at the age of 38, Sabbath shared her success story of meeting her husband online.  Over the years, I would come in with my woes and trials of finding my man. Sometimes we laughed, and many times, I cried.

I remember coming in after a deep disappointment and feeling so panicked I was never going to find my man, and Sabbath looked me deep in the eyes and said,
You haven’t given up.
You are still here.

She was reminding me of my perseverance, and reminding me of my vision, of my WHY.

And over the four years I was seeing her, something else magical was happening for both of us.
We were both creating our own companies.  We shared our dreams of having our own businesses, ones we loved where we no longer had to answer to bosses, and could have creative control over what we offered.

No more middle men.

In 2015, I opened the doors to ZenRedNYC, and in 2017, she opened the doors to Silver Spring Wellness.

When I saw Sabbath this week, I was overcome with emotion.  Again, sitting in front of her large eyes, I said,
Sabbath, it happened….I’m married now.

She smiled and said,
And you appear so happy.

And as I choked on my tears, I shared,
It’s a miracle…he’s more than I could have ever hoped for.

Everything came flooding in at that moment.  All the times I came in, feeling so frustrated.  All the summers I looked at where I was and wasn’t where I wanted to be. The crazy ups and downs of the journey and all my fears it would never happen.

But, Sabbath reminded me, I stayed IN it.
I stayed committed to my vision.
I stayed connected to my dream.

And here we were.

Sabbath with a successful wellness center, full of the practitioners she wanted, and me, happily married to the most incredible man, and doing work I love.

Sabbath was and has been a witness to my hardest and most challenging journey.
She has also been witness to my greatest triumphs.

And in seeing her, I was reminded of my OWN strength and capability…through her wide and compassionate eyes.

I saw myself, and knew everything is going to be ok.
Everything IS ok.

When we are in the thick of things, we can easily lose sight of the journey.
And we can also lose sight of our support.

If you are feeling stuck, this is the perfect time of year to re-focus on your vision.

What was that creative dream you had back in January?

Now, take the time to ask yourself some really powerful questions,
* What is WORKING as you progress towards your vision?
* What are your stumbling blocks and what actions can you take to resolve them?

And most importantly,
* What support might you add to make your progress even more efficient, fun and easy?

Simply put, we don’t get there alone.
We are stronger together.

Who is championing you in your life right now?
Who is rooting for your Art and Creative Dreams?

We can only see as far as our limitations, so it is vital you have help on your journey.

Whether that is a coach or mentor…who is SEEING you for ALL you are?

Sometimes, it takes being seen by someone who believes in us to wake up to our greatest source and simple fact I know if my heart about you,
You are limitless.

Surround yourself with people who nurture and promote you.

Let the summer sun shine on your brilliance.

Take stock where you are, and where you are headed, and celebrate everything that has led you to here.

This is a new day full of possibilities.  Bring close those that see YOUR possibility too.