Planting the Seed

I’m pregnant.

It’s my deepest dream come true.

I feel my expansive belly, the warmth as my hand glides over my full curves, and I begin to weep.  I’ve wanted this for so long…..

In fact, I went through a very dark time in my mid 30’s where I thought I actually couldn’t get pregnant.  I thought something was wrong with me.

Turns out, it was the wrong partner. My body knew…..

And now it’s here.
It’s real.

Creation at it’s most profound….human life.

Can you feel it?
How real it is?
Do you see it?

I do.

This is my future. I’m planting the seed.

As I sit here and write to you, I can feel my soft flat belly……there is no life in there right now. Not yet.

But I know there will be….

And it all began with a work of Art.


I’m a huge fan of Feng Shui.  When I was single, my consultant, Josiah Bouricius, came to my little 300 square foot apartment in Astoria and helped me turn that space from a single woman’s hideaway to a single woman CALLING IN her man.

I got rid of water in the bedroom, moved my mirror so it wasn’t reflecting on my bed, took down the single woman photos and art, and added vibrant color where needed.

Most importantly, I added inspiration.

And not just any inspiration, but one of the most famous works of art reproduced today,
Gustav Klimt’s The Kiss.

Every day, I would wake to the luscious image of a woman being cherished and adored, held in a passionate embrace, and I would feel into it.  Every night, I would look at it, and close my eyes, imagining connecting with the generous heart of my man.

And then one day….that amazing man walked into my apartment, professing love, and the single woman was no longer alone.

From Klimt to reality, WOW.

Josiah came to my new home in NJ, and while we originally hung the Klimt in our bedroom, Josiah recommended our next future vision.

A family.

So, I went searching online, and on Pintrest found this incredible artist,
Katie M. Berggren.

Her work took mine and my man’s breath away.  Every image was an ode to motherhood, to the beauty of children, and to family.

Her swirls of color, softness, and magic spoke directly to what we both desired.

So I ordered one of her stretched canvas prints, and it arrived last night.

Holding each other in an embrace, my man and I took in the image.
We felt the image.

And were inspired.

Today I woke, and sat on my bed, staring at the faces, serene and pure, feeling into this greater love.
And tonight, I will imagine calling in these children to me, feeling their hearts, much like I did early last year, staring at the Klimt.

This the the power of Art.
It’s magical really.

Did you know you could create this?
Did you know you have the power to create change in your audience’s lives?

Klimt did for me….and I can’t wait to send a thank you card to Katie Berggren when my belly is swelling with life.


It’s so easy to forget what is possible with our work.

And I get it!  There were definitely many days I felt so discouraged from another failed audition.  I would show up so ready to wow the casting directors, putting on my vibrant leotard, only to be wiping back tears of confusion and embarrassment an hour later after being cut.

I can remember doing a summer production of “Bells Are Ringing” way back in my late 20’s where I was counting down the days until the contract was over.  I hated the theatre, felt completely disrespected by the creative team, and the audience’s were small. My role was laughable, and I was not challenged at all.

Was I really making a difference?

It can be really discouraging to put so much of ourselves into our work, and not see the return we desire.

So, what can you do?

I invite you to remember.
Remember WHY you came to your Art in the first place.

I remember the last time I was a Rockette, I did a ton of PR.  I did many radio and TV interviews, and also did meet and greets with audience members after the show.

I remember before one show coming in and seeing this little girl, all dressed up with her mother, clutching her program and a pen.

When she saw me, her whole face lit up. Beaming, she held out her program and pen, asking me to sign it, saying,
When I grow up, I want to be a Rockette too!

I had to blink back tears, because at that point I was in my early 30’s and really starting to feel the pull of motherhood.  But what struck me most, was her open energy, and even more so, the OPPORTUNITY I had as an Artist to make an impact on her.

As I took in her flushed cheeks, I remembered being 11 years old, and staring wide eyed from my seat in the London Theatre as Cats danced and sang all around me.

Because of that production, I went into musical theatre as a profession.

What could happen for this little girl in this moment?
Could this be the seed planted for her, connecting to her deepest desire?

Not only did this moment remind me of WHY I became a dancer in the first place, but reminded me of the impact I have on my audience.

And that special moment also gave me inspiration to dance my best on stage.

It’s actually a loop of energy.


Your connection to your audience is paramount.

Are you feeding this inspiration?
Do you know what they need?
Do you know what they like?

What struck me most in my experience buying from Katie Berggren was her personal touch.  Not only did she email me directly, she also sent me a separate envelope with her line of greeting cards, a personally written thank you, and her promo materials.

Her customer service was impeccable.  She knew exactly what I needed.

I felt so supported by the entire experience, so that when the time came to hang the print last night, my man and I felt not only connected to the Art, but also the Artist.

Because of that, I will recommend her to everyone.

Katie is planting the seed.
Much like those dancers did in Cats for me when I was 11.
Much like I did for that little girl backstage….

Your work matters.

Art has the power to create change.
It even has the power to create life.

Katie shared with me her artwork has been hung by many women, desiring to be mothers, and has helped them to become pregnant.

So, come back to your inspiration today.

Remember WHY you became an Artist, feed your inspiration, and CONNECT with your audience.

It’s a loop of energy.

If you don’t know what they need or like, find out.

Let the relationship blossom.
Plant the seed.

And watch new life begin.

The Memory of Cats

Cats Jellicle Ball

The lights dim in the audience, and my excitement rises as the opening notes pierce the dark.

It’s New Years Eve, and my adolescent eyes widen as the stage begins to glow. On Christmas Day, the very last present I had opened was tickets for this show, the one I wanted to see more than anything.

Now I hold the program crumpled in my lap. The ticket? Deep inside the crease.

I hear voices, rising all around, and suddenly on the aisle, I see a dancer slinking forward with purpose.

A cat.

And she’s singing.
And she’s dancing.
And she’s acting.

And I’ve never seen anything like this before. I’m transfixed and engaged, leaning forward.

After the curtain, when the cast comes out to count down with the whole London audience, I’m celebrating all over. I’m only 11, but next year I’ll be 12 and who knows what that will bring?

First thing is first, buying the cast album on cassette tape, and memorizing every word, especially the words to “Macavity”. That’s my favorite.


Cats is returning to Broadway this year. Apparently the “Now and Forever” was more than a catch phrase with the London production running 21 years, original Broadway for 18,  and countless touring productions since the show first premiered in 1981. The show is a global phenomena, having been performed everywhere from Australia to South Korea to Bahrain.

Turns out I wasn’t the only audience member transfixed in their seat.

What about you?

Do you know the words to Memory?  

I did wear out my white SONY Walkman with the Cats soundtrack and replaced it with a shiny silver cd for my boom box.

The show was always close to my heart, and a dream for me, especially to play the role of Demeter, who sang my favorite song, “Macavity”.

When I moved to NYC , one of my first Broadway auditions was for Cats. While I did make it past the first cut, I went home after the second combination.  The Winter Garden  theatre shut its doors soon after, and the show closed in 2000.

Cats blew up in the regional market, and my chance came in 2003. I had been called for a replacement in 2002 at another theatre, but was already in contract somewhere else. It hurt my feline heart to turn it down, so when I booked the show a year later, I was thrilled.

And I was cast as Demeter.

I arrived the first day of rehearsal, and realized I was only one of six cast members who had never done the show before. Everyone else had either been in the Broadway cast or the Broadway National Tour.

This was a whole new level for me.

The cast could not have been more supportive and helpful. I was so nervous. I couldn’t believe these words I used to sing into my hairbrush were now coming out of my mouth in one of the best theatres in the country.

The 11 year old in me was transfixed and engaged. The 28 year old was dancing harder than I ever had. I was in performer heaven.

When my mother came to see me in the show, she said,
This is the first time everyone on stage was either at your level or higher.

I hadn’t realized that until she reflected that back. And wow…..what company. It brought out the best in me.

It took me back to London and that New Year’s Eve.

Maybe that’s why it worked.


This past week I took a dance class with the assistant choreographer of the new Broadway revival, and he taught a section of the 11 minute epic Act I closer, The Jellicle Ball. I honestly hadn’t done this section since performing in the show back in 2003.

Somehow my body remembered.

We danced to the original recording, the same one I played over and over in my Walkman.

And I couldn’t stop smiling.

The teacher came up to me after class and we had fun reminiscing and connecting over our experiences in the show.

While I was much younger when I danced this, I felt just as vibrant. My present 40 year old self attacked each phrase with precision and joy.

And as I entered the elevator to travel to the NYC street below, I felt I had both my 11 and 28 year old self by my side. And I knew they both played a part in forming my business and my mission to empower creatives.

Pretty good company.


Where did your expression originate?
What was that first moment of inspiration?

Did you bring your 11 year old with you into your adult life, or are they sitting in a dark theatre, wondering where you went?

Our creativity and craft will change and evolve with our experiences and age, but what brings us back to the page, the stage, and the canvas again and again?

It may be a Memory.

And it may be the key to moving forward.

“If you touch me you’ll understand what happiness is
And a new day will begin…”

So, what is yours?