Have you ever looked at another creative and thought,
They sound better than me
They look better than me
They have got it all together, and I’m a mess!
How does that feel in your body?
Pretty awful, right?
I can remember showing up to dance auditions and dreading if I was put in the same group to dance as certain dancers. There they would be, with their long legs, perfect bodies, and glowing confidence, and I would panic, thinking the choreographer would never look at me.
Even though I didn’t want to be feeding the voice in my head telling me how I DIDN’T measure up, I would spiral, and as a result have crappy auditions and performances.
Comparison is a real issue because it keeps your nervous system in a state of fight or flight. With every thought of,
this person is better than me
this person has something better than me
your whole nervous system is in fear, because you are constantly monitoring for what is unfavorable.
This is no way to live, my dear one.
And certainly no way to create our best or perform our best.
And this was proven to me time and again.
But there was something magical that happened when I did perform my best.
There was something completely different happening when the choreographer would gleefully hire me.
There’s a way to turn this around, because we ALL feel it. You are not alone, and I want to give you some powerful tools so comparison doesn’t take you out any longer.
So, let’s start with the moment of comparison.
You’re looking at someone else and thinking,
they have it and I don’t
If we stopped here, the result would be toxic. But, let’s allow the comparison to actually point us towards what you DO want.
What is it EXACTLY this other Creative possesses?
Is it confidence?
Is it ease in front of their audience?
Is it a powerful presence in their performance?
Is it words that jump off the page?
Take the comparison as an opportunity to understand what you CRAVE. And here’s the juicy part…now CLAIM it for yourself.
Give yourself PERMISSION to claim this.
Allow yourself to tap into all that is powerful in you.
For myself as a dancer, I used to marvel at the EASE of these other dancers. They would remember the combination effortlessly and be able to really PERFORM, bringing themselves to the dance. They stood out because they were relaxed.
So this was what I worked on. This is what I claimed, and the results were completely different.
Your desires are actually pointing you towards your aliveness, towards your unique light. Let them REMIND you what you CAN have and embody.
Instead of bringing you down, comparison is actually pointing you towards what needs permission to thrive.
You truly have all you need….it’s all there inside you.
Comparison can also be our way of being terrified. As Creatives and Performers, we can be terrified of being seen, of being magnetic to our audience.
So, comparison can be used as an unconscious way to stay small.
Small in our Art
Small in our words
Small in our actions
Standing in that audition room, looking at another redheaded dancer who has Broadway credits, I would think,
If she really is that good of a dancer, if she really is that talented, then who am I to chase my dreams? Who am I to stand in my worthiness and claim this moment?
Have you ever felt this?
I certainly did…….
Because it can be terrifying to fully FEEL your power as a Creative; to fully feel you are limitless.
SLOW down and ask,
Where am I hiding?
Where am I terrified?
Where am I giving myself an excuse?
And all from a place of empathy. There is actually no problem here. There is so much shame that gets put around comparison and jealousy and self deprecation. Finger pointing never works, but inquiry and curiosity does.
I’m here today to lovingly tell you, there’s nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You’ve just been scared.
AND, you have the power to flip it.
When comparison arises, you can say,
Then USE it, slow down, and turn the light around. Shine it within to gain clarity around what you truly WANT and where you are hiding.
So, take a moment right now, and write down what you are going to CLAIM starting today.
Use this to bring you back to empowerment.
Step out of the shadows. Your light is brilliant.
Photography: Caitlin Cannon Photography