I’m losing my voice.
My throat is sore and scratchy, my energy is low. I feel crappy.
This wasn’t supposed to happen today. Not this week….I can feel my vocal cords swelling and absolute confusion mounting, as I ask myself
How did I get here?
And the pain underneath of,
I don’t want to be sick.
I don’t have time for this.
This is soooooo unfair!
I don’t want to be where I am.
Have you ever felt like this?
I’ve been sharing with all of you my health journey over the past year, and most recently, I completed a very intense 28 Day Cleanse. My last day was a Sunday, and I had been looking forward to it for weeks.
I imagined a wonderful celebration at the end.
I imagined an inner ticker tape parade, my blood and organs all standing tall, cheering saying,
We DID IT!
Instead, I started to feel sick the evening of my last day.
I had planned to wake up Monday morning, excited to add back in eggs, nuts, and coconut, ready to move back to some level of normalcy.
And instead, I woke up feeling sick and went into management mode, trying to ward off what felt like an impending cold or infection.
I gargled with salt water.
I took tons of natural supplements.
I drank lots of tea.
I made sure to get solid sleep.
I stayed in Astoria, instead of venturing into Manhattan, and didn’t take dance or yoga.
I did everything right….didn’t I?
And yet, come Thursday, after waking up feeling really fantastic and convinced I had beaten off the germs….I started to lose my voice.
Ironically, it happened while having lunch with my voice teacher.
And the panic started to rise.
I had big plans for the weekend. I also had lots of clients and my business IS my voice.
But, with each sentence, I could feel my vocal cords swelling even more, and my voice getting raspier and raspier, and by Thursday night….it was completely gone.
Despite my best efforts, my voice was done.
So, I stopped speaking.
I re-scheduled clients, and doubled down on rest, steaming, hot tea, and echinacea. I started a Z pack, tried a whole new regiment I found from another singer who had lost her voice, and stayed in as much as possible.
And then the cough began.
I felt like I couldn’t cut a break.
Wasn’t I doing everything right?
It was SO frustrating to put in so much effort and healthy intention, and feel like I was moving at a snail’s pace.
Have you ever felt like this?
Been working so hard on what matters in your Creative Passion, and feel like the pace of your results doesn’t equal the level of what you are putting in?
Have you ever wanted to scream,
Can we just BE there ALREADY??
I imagine it feels like you are staring at a chasm. You SEE your Vision, your goal of what you want to achieve. You can even hear your raving fans, your completed novel, or hear that gorgeous symphony….
And yet, the question remains,
Why am I not there YET?
Maybe the chasm is there for a reason, though. And perhaps the real question to ask yourself in the moment is something all together different.
What if in that moment, you took a breath, checked in, and released the death grip?
What if the chasm is actually PART OF the process and there to test you?
What if your Dream simply takes more time?
We all desire the quick fix, but at the end of the day, the test of having to stay in the process is really going to bring to light the most powerful tool we have as Artists,
And by this, I mean your commitment to your work, and to your audience who is in witness to your expression. Your commitment to the role Art plays in your lives, how it opens your heart and brings you to song. None of us became Artists for trivial reasons. This work is far deeper, and feeds us unlike anything else.
We are all changing lives, and it begins with honoring this within ourselves.
This isn’t automatic. It’s deeply human, and this kind of work takes cultivation and intention.
When you are in the midst of the struggle, come back to your vision, and come back to your commitment.
Because the truth is, you have NO idea what tomorrow will bring.
Broadway may call
Your book may make the Bestseller List
The booker may book your band
A new collector may ask to buy your whole collection
You honestly can’t KNOW the future, but you can CREATE it.
You can wake everyday and continue to put in the effort from a place of honest intention, and doing the work it takes.
So your voice can be heard.
This past week, my voice began to come back, slowly but surely. My cough subsided, and my throat infection cleared.
It took way longer than I wanted, but I knew I had to stay in it, every day and take care of myself.
And my commitment?
While I may have lost my physical voice, my commitment is that you never do. And it gave me time to really reflect and come back to why I created my business in the first place and decided to empower Creatives across the globe.
My commitment to remind you of your brilliance, and remind you to stay IN it.
I’ve only lost my voice twice before in my life, so it was scary and frustrating to experience, but it also reminded me of what I’m capable of, and the moment of illness was temporary.
I imagine how scary it can be to start believing you won’t “make it”, but the truth is, with every day you ARE. You are becoming in every moment, with every stroke, picture and note, the artist you desire to be.
Every day is a new day, one you have never lived before. And the list of “overnight successes” really is speaking to the night it all came together, after consistent work and effort. In truth, most of these artists just stayed IN the process, no matter what. Tom Hanks was an overnight success after 10 years….take that in.
Live in the stretch and stay committed to your Art.
You create the life you want.
Share your glorious voice..